21 lessons I’ve learned in my 21 years

I’m just a month away from my 21st Birthday.

While this realisation is scary, I’m incredibly grateful for the experiences I’ve had and the endless opportunities that lie ahead. I’m aware that there’s a lifetime of lessons awaiting me, but here are the 21 lessons I’ve learned so far...

Plans change, you can’t put a time frame on life.

I know I’m not the only one who used to have a "career at 24, house at 26, married at 28, children at 30" mindset. Now, I’ve abandoned rigid plans, and I’m in no hurry to have everything figured out. I don’t know where life will take me, and that makes me both excited and terrified about the journey ahead. One thing I’m certain of: life is not a race.

Quality over quantity of friends, always.

In my 21 years, I’ve seen many friends come and go, learning along the way to only surround myself with those who truly fulfil me. I am so lucky to have met my best friend seven years ago. We’ve been through so much together, even living hundreds of miles apart at times, yet our bond remains unbreakable. I would choose having her over any friend group.

Your appearance will inevitably change.

Every day I notice differences in my appearance, and this process will continue indefinitely. I’ve wasted too much time fixating on how clothes fit, and how I've changed compared to previous years. But really, who truly cares? I constantly try to remind myself that my appearance is the least interesting thing about me.

Be patient with yourself and others; we're all new at life.

I once saw a TikTok that said, “remember, this is your mum’s first time at life too”. This really put things into perspective - we are all just figuring it out as we go along. I’ve only been an adult for three years, so I’m bound to make mistakes. We all are. So, treat people with kindness, always.

Growing older doesn’t mean growing up.

I will always be a teenage girl at heart. I’ll forever be a Directioner, I’ll forever read romance novels, and I’ll forever dance around to Taylor Swift. While there may come a day when I have to prioritise paying a mortgage over attending concerts, until then, I’ll continue spending my money on clothes and tickets. A 1D reunion over a house any day.

Being close with my siblings is a blessing.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have a loving brother and sister. Our childhood was filled with wonderful memories, and even as adults, we still laugh just as loud together. Regardless of the challenges we face or the distance between us, we know we will always be there for each other. We are so lucky to journey through every stage of life together.

Don’t compare yourself or your life to others.

I’m still learning to do this. It’s particularly challenging in a world where social media constantly showcases others’ highlights, whether it’s how perfect they look or how seemingly “ahead” they are in their journeys. However, none of us have the same life path, nor do we share the same goals or sources of happiness. Our greatest gift lies in our individuality.

Your school days are definitely not the best days of your life.

While I’m sure the popular girls might argue otherwise, I'm incredibly relieved that secondary school is behind me. Learning subjects that I had no interest in, the constant friendship drama, and spending five days a week surrounded by teenagers. Hell. Nothing like High School Musical.

Memories are more valuable than savings or possessions.

My love language is 100% quality time. I now realise that there is nothing more precious than creating memories with the people you love. Though my bank account may be empty, my heart is certainly full. 

Nothing will ever be as scary as learning to drive.

No lie, seventeen was genuinely the most traumatic year of my life. Four years later, I’ve finally overcome my fear of driving, but the journey has been truly terrifying. Moving to a new city by myself doesn’t even come close in comparison.

Your most important relationship is with yourself.

I really dislike the pressure to “settle down” at a young age. My biggest pride is enjoying my own company. I have my entire life for relationships, but right now is my time to be a bit selfish, focus on my goals, and prioritise time with my family and friends.

Living in the same era as Taylor Swift is a blessing.

Not to exaggerate (although I can be almost as dramatic as she is), I'm incredibly grateful to have grown up with Taylor Swift reigning over the music scene. I remember singing ‘Love Story’ in the playground like it was yesterday, and now I get to celebrate turning 21 by attending two of her shows.

Low maintenance friendships are the best.

I’ll take any chance to rave about my best friend to be honest, because I’m so lucky that we’re so in sync. I don’t even want to admit how long it’s been since I last saw her, but we talk every single day. And when we do see each other, it feels like no time has passed; with each passing year, our bond only grows stronger.

Setbacks are always an opportunity to learn.

Last year, I faced numerous internship and job rejections, which initially made me feel like a failure. Instead of giving up, I decided to complete an additional course, which ultimately led me to landing my first job in the industry. Sometimes, things take a little longer, but everything will work out as it’s meant to.

Being introverted is okay.

I’m so glad I’ve finally learned this. My teenage years were filled with anxiety around social events and feeling like the odd one out. Now, I’ve accepted that I don’t enjoy nights out and socialising, but I really love baking and reading. This might change as I get older, but for now, I’m happy being a little granny.

University isn’t always the best time of your life.

I started University in 2021, and during the first term, it felt like I had finally peaked in life. However, this quickly changed as I began to dislike the place, especially when my two best friends dropped out. Since then, my focus has solely been on completing my degree. It hasn’t been the most enjoyable time, but I have my entire future ahead of me.

Take risks, yolo.

This is challenging to do as an anxious person, but I try to remind myself of all the progress I’ve made. It doesn’t have to be a huge risk; my dad said “yolo” when I was planning a spontaneous road trip to see Harry Styles by myself, and it ended up being the best night of my life. Life is too short to dwell on “what if?”.

My sister will forever be my best friend.

Having a sister is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. We entered this world together and have been inseparable ever since. Deep down, we are still those two little blonde girls who could chat and laugh and all day long. She will always hold the title of my favourite person, and I genuinely don’t think I could do life without her.

If you are happy doing what you’re doing, then nobody can tell you you’re not successful.

As the beautiful Harry Styles once said. This mindset guided me towards pursuing a degree in fashion, and I’ve never felt more fulfilled. Although I may never have a stable career, I’d choose this path over forty years in a dull job any day. Your decisions don’t have to make sense to anyone else.

Being sensitive is a blessing, not a curse.

To the little girl who used to cry whenever someone slightly raised their voice, you just have a really big heart. While it’s frustrating at times, I tend to overanalyse everything and get emotional over small things. But, my sensitivity allows me to understand people greatly and form unbreakable bonds. I’m glad I get to feel things so deeply.

My parents are the most important people in my life.

It may sound like a cliché, but they have been there for me and have supported me through everything. Growing up in a home overflowing with love, they have always prioritised the three of us above all else. I treasure every moment spent with them, and I know that I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have them.